Mentoring dyads at work have been studied extensively. The literature shows that dyads of similar characteristics (along professional, background or identity dimensions) experience greater comfort compared to those that have divergent characteristics[1]. This comfort leads mentors more easily to give full attention, energy and enthusiasm about their proteges (i.e., positive mood). This, in turn, leads to increased mentoring support. On the other hand, we know that mentor inattention and distress (i.e., negative mood) predicts poor quality of mentoring.[2]
Because mood can be evoked by emotions[3], mentor emotional intelligence, mainly in self-awareness, regulation, is critical to effectiveness.
Strong mentors at work are self-aware, self-regulate their emotions, understand how their mood affects the quality of their influence on their colleagues, have empathy, compassion and genuine interest in promoting others.[4]
Coaching is essential for new mentors to become strong mentors. Self-awareness, self-regulation of emotion are necessary skills that many high-achieving professional do not learn independently. A professional coach brings forward a mirror at which good mentors can truly see who they are and how they can be better.
Practical Self-Coaching Tips for Mentors:
Reflect on your motivations for behaving in certain ways and how emotions play into that. Consider a confidential self-assessment of EQi in order to gain insights into your self-perception, self-expression, interpersonal skills, decision-making, and stress management behaviors.
Develop strategies to build up strengths and develop goals for emotional growth.[5]
Mini Exercise: Recall your feelings when in conversation or meetings with your protege? Where can you find positive and negative exchanges? Do you recognize a positive/negative association with your protege based on the nature of your exchange? How did your feelings influence your interactions? If you had negative associations that influenced your interaction, what can you do differently next time?
As you are now more aware of negative associations, what positive experiences can you develop with this particular protege?
Comfortable experiences can easily become positive experiences-- for example informal walk and chat, a lunch invitation, a quick check-in on your protege's project, asking how their family/parents/kids are doing?
Happy mentoring!
Cited: [1] Allen, Day & Lentz 2005; Chao, Walz and Gardner, 1992; Fangenson-Eland, Marks and Amendola 1997; Ragins and Cotton, 1993. [2] Hu, C, Wang S, Yu-Hsuan W, Chen C, Jiang DY. Understanding attraction in formal mentoring relationships from an affective perspective. Journal of Vocational Behavior. Volume 94, June 2016, Pages 104-113. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2016.02.007 [3] Lazarus, R. S., & Lazarus, R. S. (1991). Emotion and adaptation. Oxford University Press on Demand. [4] Smith WJ, Howard, JT, Harrington KV (2005). Essential formal mentor characteristics and functions an governmental and non-governmental organizations from the program administrators’s and the mentor’s perspective. Public Personnel Management, 34, 31-58. [5] EQi assessment must be conducted by a certified practitioner/coach.
Comments